Jessica (jesslite) wrote in cowville,

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Take Me As I Am

Hi There Everyone.
Well... I'll start with the basicis:
I'm 22.
I live in Canada, but I work in Bosnia.
I am a girl.
I have brown hair, brown eyes.
A picture of me last year (I weighed 50 pounds less than I do now in that picture)
I currently weight 270 pounds
My final goal weight is 150 pounds

Okay. I did a lot of research this morning. I did a lot of soul-searching over the last 2 years and finally have decided this is not something I just want to do anymore. It's something I need to do. It's important to my mental and physical health.
I like myself on the inside. I think I'm a kind, caring, loving, understanding, funny person, who is fun to be with and around. However, I hate myself on the outside. when I look in the mirror I see a big, fat, ugly, streched marked, pock-faced, ugly person who nobody should want to be seen with in public.
It took me 22 years to finally realize that I'm a great person on the inside. I don't care if it takes me 22 more to get rid of the weight and finally like myself on the outside I'm going to do it...

In order to do this though, I need help. I need friends, I need support, I need people to encourage me. I have friends, however, most of my friends IRL aren't really the type of people I'd go to with my weight issues, I realize that sounds bad, but I have 2 close friends who are also overweight and trying to lose, so they are my main IRL support group. But I need more than that I need constant support, I need a constant 24/hr 7 day a week place where I can go to and have someone respond.... And I figure this will be the place. I've joined several communities. Now I'm looking to make friends to add to my list so that I can begin my journey.
I would like to also help out other people with support and encouragement too....
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